Every week, Gamervision posts the Nintendo shop update. Every week, someone is quick to comment that they're upset that Godeneye hasn't been added to the Virtual Console. Rumors constantly bring the classic shooter back into the limelight, saying that there's a chance that Activision, Nintendo, Microsoft, and Rare might be close to reaching some sort of an agreement. With a Perfect Dark remake on the horizon, it seems like it's possible for the four companies to reach some sort of an agreement to bring Goldeneye back, right?

No, actually, it doesn't look like it.

According to Nintendo Everything, Rare recently said that there's little chance of the remake ever seeing the light of day, commenting “That was some time ago, my friend. Fate was against us that day. Destiny conspired to raise the hurdles even as we attempted to clear them, resulting in unpleasant groinal injury. I suspect we’re long past the stage where an agreement was on the cards, but you never know. Stranger things have happened… somewhere… probably.”

Who's blocking the release? Nintendo? Activision? Microsoft? Rare? Last week's Kanye West joke? We'll likely never know the full story, but it's fun to assume that they're all working together to keep us miserable. Actually, let's just blame Bobby Kotick, I don't think he'll mind - if anything, it should just give him some more fear to work with.

Then again, who cares anymore? Perfect Dark had much better multiplayer than Goldeneye, and the singleplayer is incredibly dated. If you're really feeling a hankering for nostalgia that much, just go buy a Nintendo 64, it's like four bucks at this point. Besides, the game hasn't aged well; maybe Rare realizes this and just doesn't want anyone to go back and play it for fear that we might all cry out in horror when we realize that everything looks like it is made of blocks and the controls are barely functional.