Ever since gamers were first introduced to the Mushroom Kingdom, the alternate realities of the video game universe became an escape for millions. Be it the USG Ishumura of Dead Space or Sera of Gears of War, developers have crafted thousands of unique locations in gaming’s short history. Some are wonderful, utopian societies, while others… well. Let’s just say that not every area in the gamingverse is somewhere where you’d want to live, and that’s just what this list is about.

Here are the top ten Worst Places to Live in Gaming.



10. Hyrule (Zelda Series)

Whether or not you believe there’s any continuity in the Legend of Zelda series, one thing is for sure: Hyrule is the pitts. It might have a few hundred years of peace now and again, but most of that time is spent living in fear of an evil wizard’s return. Once he does return, the fate of the world always rests on a strangely dressed nine year old who doesn’t even show up half of the time. Hyrule has been taken over, flooded, and destroyed so many times that you can hardly blame Gannondorf anymore. If the kid keeps giving over his lunch money you might as well keep asking.



9. Mars (Doom, Red Faction series, others)

36 million miles away from earth should mean the only thing inhabitants of Mars need to fear are dust storms, but this doesn’t seem to be the case. For some reason, demons have decided to use the red planet to open a portal to hell, something that should really be an “earth” thing. Even if this doesn’t happen, there’s a good chance that a political group will take over the planet and instate Martial Law for no real reason, forcing everyone to work under their tyrannical eye. And you thought your job was bad.



8. City 17 (Half-Life 2)

Outside of the city walls there are antlions, mutants, and zombies. Inside? An alien race called the Combine tries their best to imitate the novel 1984 by establishing a totalitarian rule that will occasionally beat people to death or torture them for no reason. While City 17 might have seemed like a safe haven at one point, the conditions have gotten worse and worse. Oh, and the militia is being lead by a mute. They also limit reproduction, which is really a kick in the nuts. Hell, in a demon-infested Mars you could find a broom closet to get frisky in, that's not even an option in City 17.



7. Mushroom Kingdom (Mario Series)

The sky might always be blue and the grass might always be green, but there are plenty of reasons it would suck to live in the Mushroom kingdom, not the least of which is the fact that the sun will occasionally come to life and lob fireballs at people. With the exception of Toads, Yoshis, and a few humans scattered around, everything in the world is under Bowser’s command, making it strange that Mario seems to be so intent on defending the somewhat desolate kingdom. On top of that, there appears to be no police force besides Mario, and if fails to stop Bowser from kidnapping the princess every few week, odds are he doesn’t have the ability to save anyone else. At least Hyrule’s problems are spread over a few hundred years and they have peace from time to time, we’re to believe that all of the Mario games take place during the life of one Mario, meaning the kingdom is literally in constant turmoil.



6. Rapture (BioShock, BioShock 2)

We’re not going to lie, living in Rapture probably started off pretty cool. Adam was plentiful, plastic surgery was cheap, and flaming ammunition was available in every vending machine. Things went bad quick, though, and before long the average Rapturian made the elephant man look like Fabio and people were shooting bees at eachother for funsies. If you even managed to survive the bloody civil war, there was a good chance you would be bludgeoned to death by a guy in a diving suit while a seven year-old girl cheered him on, and there's nothing the landlord can do about that.



5. Empire City (inFamous)

A large explosion killed most of the people in the city, super-powered druggies roam the streets in tacky hoodies, the military isn't letting anyone out, and the only person who can save you is likely the person who set off the bomb. If any of these fantastic descriptions sound familiar, you must have visited Empire City. There are actually a surprisingly large amount of people still alive in Empire, most of which spend their time wandering aimlessly and hoping not to get electrocuted by the hero of the game inFamous. See, he's a bit temperamental, and will occasionally shock someone to death. And then bring them back to life. And then shock them again. And then bring them back to life...



4. Jefferson City (MadWorld)

Someone has actually made a televised game show out of killing the citizens of Jefferson City. That alone sucks, but there’s more: the show is actually about creatively killing people. That means the average thug will shove some road signs into someone’s head before actually finishing him off, and that’s if he’s not feeling too imaginative. There’s also a chance he’ll toss some tires over his body, light him on fire and make sushi out of him. Oh, and Greg Proops is constantly making fun of everyone, which undoubtedly gets old.



3. Silent Hill (Silent Hill series)

Silent Hill was a fairly normal town at one point. Currently, however, it couldn’t be much worse. Citizens of Silent Hill fall into two categories: monsters who get raped regularly by Pyramid Head, or literal manifestations of fear. In fact, Silent Hill is SO bad it almost doesn’t qualify for this list, but makes it on because it was, at one point, a bustling town. Things went bad, some old Native American spirits came back to life, and now the typical day involves a few dozen nurses walking around like they just took a sip out of Timothy Leary's hip flask. And it’s always foggy, which means road conditions likely suck.



2. The Capitol Wasteland (Fallout 3)

The water is radioactive, nearly everybody has a problem, and the safest places to live are either a city built around an undetonated nuke or on a leaky boat. The Capitol Wasteland is one of the worst places to live because the alternative – dying in a nuclear holocaust – seems like it might actually be a better thing to deal with than trying to survive. There are mutated animals and monsters around every turn, and even if you mind your own business there’s a good chance you’ll become collateral damage in an ongoing war between any number of factions. The Capitol Wasteland is actually one of the best places left on the planet, which is why it landed number two on our list. But what could possibly be worse than living in the ruins of Washington DC? Besides, obviously, living in Washington DC...



1. New York City (Spider-Man, Prototype, others)

In the real world, living in New York City isn’t all that bad. Taxes are a bit high and Jersey’s smell occasionally drifts over the river, but it’s a pretty neat place to live. New York City in video games, however, is an entirely different story. Atomic bombs, alien invasions, mutant invasions, viral outbreaks, and a massive amount of crime are just a few of the issues. From Prototype to Spiderman to Grand Theft Auto (yeah, Liberty City is just New York), gamers have needed to save the population of the Big Apple from countless evils, and there's nary a time where it's done without 3/4 of the population being erased.

It would all kind of suck to live in any of these cities. Except Silent Hill, I think I can deal with a few sexy nurses from time to time. That’s it for today, folks, be sure to check back with Gamervision.com for all of your news and reviews, as well as all of the video content you can handle. Take care.