One time walking through a retail store, I was browsing through the toy section as I am want to do...it makes me feel young...when I found a shelf with some kiddy spy toys. I loved these things growing up. One of the items was a nightvision "HUD" it said. The "HUD" in question being the lines and whatnot on the neon lens.

It got me to thinking if real life had a HUD system, complete with other video game conventions. I imagined a little red line at the upper left corner of my vision that would decrease when we got hurt or ill. Maybe a seperate bar for Fatique and endurance, like in Oblivion, which would vary depending on our physical build. At the moment I can't think of how one might create their own personal HUD, not without extreme akwardness from those around you. That, and there's supposedly mental concerns about linking your physical health on something that doesn't even affect the wellness of the human condition.

Now, if our lives were video games, we need to talk powerups. Obviously, this is going to vary from person to person. In video games powerups can range from anything from a whole turkey dinner to a glowing orb suspended in the air. In real life, we have more clear cut, defined definitions of what is is. Naturally, what we ingest as living beings is what powers up. So, our favorite foods would be an ideal powerup.

Though I find it unlikely that if I get into a fight with a couple of thugs in an alley and I KO one, a plate of pasta in a meaty marinara sauce is going to appear where his body had been.

Cans of soda have always been a popular notion of the Real Life powerup, and I can see that. They're everywhere, easily accessible. You can carry a couple with you. Kinda like potions in a fantasy RPG. Of course, common sense dictates, "You idiot, if you're gonna go through the city picking fights with random hoodlums, carry a medical kit with you." Yes...But I can see it now...a gunfight in a wharehouse...one of the two heroes is critically injured...and his partnery tries to stop the bleeding, to which his buddy says "I'm fine, just give me a Dr. Pepper..."

Now let's talk about real life Save Points. These do not work in real life, this is true. However, it does sort of bolster the self esteem. Maybe even to the point of insanity...

"Jim! Why are you carrying a battleaxe into the Board Meeting? Are you nuts? The Boss is like level 45 with Elite mobs! You're only a Level 30 corporate Paperpusher!"

"Don't worry bob, I saved before I came in the building."

And we will never hear of Jim again.

But lets say you want one. That's fine. Your Mailbox is a perfect save point. Right outside your house, has that uniformed Save Point look. Maybe even an item on your desk at work, like your phone. Maybe you would like talking to your secretary to be your save point. Just lay a hand on your save point and pretend it's saving your progress since you were a young'n...just be careful what you touch if you talk to your secretary. Unless she's into that. I saw a movie on that once.

I guess we can all be glad life is more like a massive RPG than a platformer. I would hate to have to jump over seven oddly placed scaffoldings and stomp on midgets to get to work. Though Midget Stomping is fun.

--Doctor Scraps: Creating akward situations for Gamers since 1984.