This one goes out to all of you nerds out there who are man nerds. You know what's terrible? Of course you do, you're reading this. But seriously though, have you ever wanted to not have to buy underwear for yourself? Well here is the greatest masculine internet invention since the Real Doll and Flesh Light.
Gentlemen…I bring you…Man Packs.
Man Packs is a website that allows you to customize the style, amount, and color of your underwear, socks, and undershirts (old man) and then have them shipped to you every three months because you're a guy and you are lazy as fuck. This way, you won't have to send our mom and/or Canadian girlfriend out to the store to buy it for you while you raid and thus soil the underwear you are currently wearing due to explosive diarrhea.
This discovery will probably revolutionize being a male, since, if you're like me (prototypical male/adonis), you probably hate going underwear shopping. I myself would love to have my grape-plum smugglers sent to me via mail since I personally can't stand having to go underwear shopping. Not only is it the most boring of shopping experiences, it is completely unrewarding. Most men's underwear is extremely mundane, eliminating any desire to want to go out and purchase several packages. It's not sexy like girl-underwear, which usually causes my brain (crotch) to focus more intently and….uh….hard. First of all, you have the very limited choices of boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs (my jam). Then when you go to pay up front, you just know the high school girl working behind the register is judging your choice…making all kinds of snap judgements about who you are as a person and texting her friends immediately after you leave to tell them what kind of underwear you bought…I mean right?…
You can also set the date when you'd like to receive your dong tunics, and the website checks in with you before they send you your order to make sure you indeed have soiled/ruined all of your banana hammocks (skid marks) in said three month span. This website is fantastic. Think of all the time you'll save not staring for hours at the hot hot dudes on the packages of your underwear. Knowing you, you'll probably still do that anyway, but at least this gives you the freedom of having to get into your car and drive to the store. What is this…the '70s?
Josh Henderson is an actor/writer who at first feels constrictive but then becomes a part of you.