On March 30th, 2010, one of my favorite childhood heros-turned-villains retired from professional wrestling, the most serious and legit sport of all time.  That man was Shawn Michaels, who, in my opinion, was one of the blondest and most villainous characters to have ever graced the squared circle.  Michaels was most famous for his betrayals (drama) of other wrestling stars, most notably Marty Jannetty and Hulk Hogan.  I loved every second of the absurdity that permeated throughout the whole WWE (WWF) universe.   This may be old news to all eight of you hardcore wrestling fans out there (1999), but I recently stumbled upon this news on my Twitter from ESPN's Bill Simmons that linked me to a podcast featuring the "Sexy Boy" Sean Michaels

I was shocked.  Not that he was retiring, but that he was even still wrestling.  Then I did some research and found out that he is a cyborg clone, not unlike the Ultimate Warrior (fact).  Michaels lost his last match at Wrestlemania to the Undertaker, keeping Undertaker's streak of never losing a Wrestlemania match alive solidifying Michael's "character's" arc as one of the greatest stories in all of wrestling.  Here is an accurate recreation of that match…



I was always partial to The Rockers.  The Jannetty/Michaels team was by far my favorite and had all the best moves.  They were the underdogs and upstarts who were easy to root for because I just wanted them to succeed.  Then…the betrayal.  Shawn Michaels may have been responsible for all of the mistakes I've made in my lifetime by scarring me deeply as a child.  I feel oddly comfortable placing that responsibility on his shoulders.  I will never forget that fateful Saturday morning when Michaels kicked then teammate Marty Jannetty through a plate glass window with his patented Super Kick (sweet chin music).  It was on that day that I learned how terrible men could be toward each other and how it was our responsibility to fight the bad guys (space Nazis/Douchebags).  I remember literally crying because I loved The Rockers, the Jannetty/Michaels tag team, who sported fucking awesome 90's colors and tassels that never went out of style (super serious and real).  I remember playing with my WWF action figures (earlier this week) and being crushed at the sight of the Shawn Michael's hardened plastic, sideways, scum sucking, backstabbing, Benedict Arnold face.  It wounded me and I was never the same again.  Shawn Michaels is history's greatest monster.



Back in the late '80s and early '90s, The Rockers featured Shawn Michael's own brand of high flying wrestling acrobatics which blew my eight-year-old mind.  I remember vividly dressing up like I was a member of The Rockers and wrestling with stuffed animals, bean bag chairs, and actual human beings whom I called "friends" (imaginary).  Recreating the sheer awesomeness of Shawn Michael's moves, however, was next to impossible.  It turns out lifting your leg four feet above your head is really hard.  I understand now why I am an only child.



With the revelation that my childhood's foil is retired, along with hearing that Ted Dibiassi's son is rehashing his dad's gimmicks, I think I'm officially ready to get back into wrestling.  I hear that guy from the Real World New York II is kicking some ass.  During the late 1990's, wrestling seemed to steer away from the good vs evil story telling formula that I loved so much when I was a kid.  From what I can tell, the pendulum has swung back in that direction.  I used to love the drama and the intrigue and the weekly ridiculousness that, for my eight year old mind, was the height of realism and awesomeness.  What I would later come to realize was that the acting and story telling were pretty awful.  But maybe that's part of the charm of wrestling.  A charm that I look back on with great nostalgia and excitement.  Maybe it says something about how I've grown up…in that I haven't.  That I would still love to see two sweaty guys act like they're beating the crap out of each other maybe says something about me.  Michaels was a huge part of that world for me and I salute him (Degeneration X salute).  I've been away for a long time…but it feels good to be home.  Also ladies, I look really good in tights…bust out the Wrestling Buddies(hot).




Head over to  and check out Bill Simmons' podcast featuring Shawn Michaels where he talks about his career and life after wrestling (hookers and blow).  RAMJAM!

Josh Henderson is an actor/writer who loves the constricting feel of latex and half nelsons.