Review
Woody Two-Legs: Attack of the Zombie Pirates (PC)
Arrrrrrr, Ya Bored at Work?
Woody Two-Legs: Attack of the Zombie Pirates is a short, enjoyable casual arcade shooter that puts you at the helm of a tiny pirate ship, tasked with defending your stolen treasure.
What it lacks in depth it makes up in charm, with some cute title cards and humorous backstory that dumps you right in the action.
Your ship is fast, maneuverable, and has unlimited ammunition. In fact, you even have unlimited lives, technically. Your only resource is the gold stashed on the island at the center of the map. I presume once this runs out, you “die,” but I never got close enough to that to find out.
The first three of the five total levels have you attacked by different enemies, zombies, skeletons, and ghosts respectively. Each "race" has a different design, though there are only three total classes of enemy ship: ones who want to sink you, ones that want your gold, and ones that want both. In reality, it doesn’t matter much, as you need to destroy everything in order to progress. Each level ends with a boss fight, starting with The Kraken.
Some ships, when destroyed, drop crates that offer a power up, a power down, or random (one or the other). Power ups are where the game adds some flavor, with Homing Dolphins, “DJ’s Locker,” and Balls of Steel.
The music is surprisingly good, with a sea shanty-ish jaunt for the waves of enemies, and a more pounding orchestral bit for the boss fights.
Control is good, though I found myself getting turned around as to which arrow to push to fire the cannons on the correct side. I ended up just pressing both arrows to fire both broadsides, as there was no ammo penalty.
Even for only $5, Woody Two-Legs: Attack of the Zombie Pirates is a little short. I finished it in about 90 minutes, and during part of that I was eating dinner. Finishing the game unlocks harder modes, though the gameplay is pretty repetitive and I’m not sure how long I’d be able to take it.
All in all, Woody Two-Legs: Attack of the Zombie Pirates is a fun and amusing distraction, as short as it is. In the spirit (get it? a pun) of Halloween, this cartoony romp with pirates, zombies, ghosts and skeletons be fun arrrr right.
Sorry, couldn’t resist.
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