There's something in the air. Something special, that turns the Drama Llamas of the gaming world to thoughts of... murder. Rampage. Empty gestures.

That's right: it's time for some tough guys (and girls!) on the internet!

 

Tough Guy Announces Intent to Go On Murder Spree, Blames Video Games, Surprised By Party Van

Press-Democrat reports this morning that one Jeffrey Gargago (28) has been charged for threats of violence, after police noticed this comment on the Bellingham Herald website and traced it back to its scribe:

Shut up... Also to all of you who blame drugs . . . shut up as well. You know what, I am going to go shoot up sunset square today . .. just for the hell of it. No drugs, no mental illness . . . you can blame todays episode on video games and George Bush's example of 'pay back' to society.

Gargago, a married father of two, told the Associated Press he did not intend violence with his comment and was merely exercising his right to free speech. He adds that he doesn't even own a gun.

Jeffrey Lustick, Gargago's lawyer, believes in his client despite a notable lack of spiky hair:

"We admit he was stupid," said Jeffrey Lustick. [...] But "people say some pretty unusual things on blogs."

[...]

Lustick said his client was clearly trying to make a political point -- awkward though it may have been.

The comment must be considered within the context of such reader-feedback sections and blogs, which can be "notoriously bombastic," he said.

Lustick adds that he is dubious that a charge of "felony harassment" will be able to stick, since it is not clear who, if anyone, Gargago was actually trying to "harass": "There is not one identifiable person in regard to the threat to kill."

Gargago is free on bail bond pending his upcoming trial.

Other defenders of Gargago's comments liken his remarks to those made in response to the Columbine and Virginia Tech massacres. In the first case, charges were not sought; the second landed their writer 18 months of jail time.

The Press-Democrat article provides a photo of the the defendant in this case, but I have a better one:

 

Press-Democrat: Reader's posting on paper's Web site leads to arrest

 

Woman Internet-Kills her Internet-Husband for Internet-Divorcing Her, Gets Real-World Arrested for It

It didn't happen in Second Life because, well, the people involved are Japanese. Naturally, it happened in Maple Story instead.

Of all people, the Associated Press is reporting on the story of a 43-year-old Japanese piano teacher who found herself suddenly dumped by her online husband, and decided to exact revenge. Rather than adopt the normal measure of, perhaps, pseuicide, the woman chose to use the login info for her ex's Maple Story character to sign in and... well, in a way it was suicide, if you think about it. When the 33-year-old salaryman next signed into his account, he found his character dead.

Clearly, it was murder. So what do you do when you find someone murdered? You call the police.

The woman was summarily arrested and brought to Sapporo for questioning, though she is yet to be formally charged. Police are considering a charge of illegally accessing a computer and manipulating data, which would generally be a charge more appropriately assigned to hacking with the intent to defraud, but hey, whatever they want to make stick. Thank goodness her internet-husband wasn't Sarah Palin, that's all I'm saying.

Quoth the article:

"I was suddenly divorced, without a word of warning. That made me so angry," the official quoted her as telling investigators and admitting the allegations.

[...]

The police official said he did not know if she was married in the real world.

The article adds that the woman apparently had no intention of following up with real world violence.

If this woman goes back to her blog to write a stutter-post about how s-s-s-sorry she is, but that it was her internet-husband's fault for callously internet-abandoning her, I officially quit.

Associated Press: Woman jailed after 'killing' virtual husband

 

For the record: if any of you guys put stamps on my LittleBigPlanet pod without my consent, I will cut you up. I am a certified Mall Ninja, after all.

That's it for this Drama Llama! Join us next time for swell tips on how to work that skin-tight tactical gear and your man-corset in the course of your infiltration of the local grocery store.

Cheers!