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The Daily Dairy
Calcium Fortified Tech News and Junk
by Nikkita
Get Your Daily Calcium Fortified Tech Fix at TheDailyDairy.com
Today on the Dairy: Hypnotists, Seinfeld and my childhood massacre!
Hypnotist Steals Kiss, Gets Fined, Haunts My Dreams
It's a bad day for all of the South Korean hypnotists who planned on hypnotizing their way into love when one man was fined $2,453 for trying to hypnotize his date. Quick, say hypnotize three times fast!
The 32-year-old man suggested hypnotizing his 27-year-old date during their first meeting arranged by a matchmaking agency in August last year, according to the Dong-a Ilbo newspaper and Yonhap news agency.
The woman was eventually persuaded, and the hypnotist chanted: "Black hole! You will plunge deeper into a trance. You will feel thrilled all over your body and if my hand touches your body, you will feel intense pleasure."
When the man, identified only by his surname, Park, thought his technique had worked, he went to kiss her.
But the woman was fully alert, though her eyes were closed, and she pushed him away. Later, she filed accusations that he had sexually harassed her, the reports said.
Who ever thought hypnosis could be such a cock block? Oh well, it's for the better. I'd hate to wake up one day and realize that I've been married to Criss Angel for 3 years.
Thanks, Will!
If only you could see the face I'm making right now. It's a mix of disapproving-dad and a little kid who just learned the truth about the Tooth Fairy. While I'd commend anyone for putting that much effort into a single cupcake (let's face it, it takes a lot to make those things look unappetizing), I'm going to have to pass. I have enough zombie nightmares as is and that's not even counting the Criss Angel ones. Gyuh.
Now, if brain cupcakes aren't unappetizing enough for you there's the Goatse cookie, possibly the only cookie that should have never been made. Cyanide cookies have more reason to exist than a freakin' Goaste cookie. Gosh, why do I need to spell this out for you people? GYUH!
If you don't know what Goatse is, congratulations. Keep it that way.
[via Geekologie, Gearfuse]
What. The. Fuck. Ponies? My Little Ponies? My My Little Ponies? Why are all my childhood tokens turning on me?!? It's like my memories of bath time have turned into that scene from The Shining. You know, I clearly remember My Little Ponies smelling like plastic, candy and smiles but I'm pretty sure these Silent Hill hell horses reek of corpses and rape.
First Hello Kitty and now this. My childhood's famous last words: "Et tu, Pony?"
You have all forsaken me. If you need me, I'll be mourning the growth spurt of Polly Pocket in my corner.
Oh, and the evil ponies are available on eBay starting at $32.00. Sniffle...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
Make it stop!
Make it stop!
Make it stop!
Make it stop!
Make it stop!
Make it stop!
Make it stop!
The screaming continues here.
I already told you, I'd ride a Tauntaun if I qualified for one. Sheesh.
The Conserve Fuel, Ride A Tauntaun To Work tee is available from Zazzle for $25.65. As for the Tauntauns, well, maybe the mafia can help you.
Seinfeld, Me And Everyone We Know
Behold, the chart that will keep you distracted for at least the next 20 minutes. The World Of Seinfeld chart maps out the fantastic four and everyone they knew on screen. Did they seriously date more people than they have friends? Not like it matters now. Last I knew they were in jail. Lucky for them, they'll be appearing in a reunion on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Then again, that might not be lucky at all. One name: Larry David.
Enjoy!
[Dailyfill via TheAwesomer]
Well hello there my dear Dairy-heirs. How nice of you to drop by. Lovely summer we're having, don't you think? As a matter of fact, I'm going to celebrate it for a little while. In the meantime, Zane will be filling in to keep your hungry brains fed with bountiful distractions. Zane has posted for the Dairy before, so please don't be shy to say hi.
Without further ado, everyone please give Zane a big welcome!
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go pick up my preventative rage black out medication before I head off to the airport. Toodle, toodles!
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