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RPGs: Saving The World One Speedo At A Time

I'm too sexy for this frost...

by Relayer71

I have a problem with RPGs.  We've gotten to a point where pretty much anything can be done graphically and from a memory/storage point of view yet why is it that in any RPG I play me and my party must walk around wearing the same set of clothes for 50+ hours?

Come on, the typical RPG can take place in a ridiculous variety of locales and climates.   If I start out in a tropical zone wearing nothing but shorts and a tank top, how is it that I get to some icy arctic region and survive in the same get up?  It's unrealistic.

Ok, so maybe it's too difficult or time consuming to have a visual representation of the dozens of armor suits in a game, but come on how about just giving my near naked Viera who is originally from warmer climes a jacket and warm pants when out in snow covered areas?  

And what's with a princess walking around in shorty shorts?  That's just plain tasteless. But forget about taste for a moment, let's just talk realism.

How can I fight wave after wave of armored soldiers wearing a sleeveless vest that barely covers mah belly?  It's just plain wrong!

I think these character designers should give a little more thought to game environments, and I don't know, maybe game PLOT???

And it doesn't look like Square is learning one bit.  What's with the surfer boy in the FFXIII trailers?  He's wearing what appears to be a nice warm wool hat, a long overcoat, gloves.  But wait, aren't those like 3/4 sleeves?  And his chest is completely exposed!  And what's with the redhead in the bikini top?  Hmm, her parts must take place in a different area than the rest of the party because she looks awfully under dressed compared to the rest.

Changing into a Seeds uniform for an official ball was the only time wardrobe ever changed in a FF game as far as I remember (oh and the merchant disguise in FF VI).  But FF isn't the only guilty party.

Are cool characters with smart design that somehow relate to the game settings too much to ask for?  Also, why such a disparity among character apparel?  Everyone in a given party looks as if they've stepped out from a completely different world.  

But most importantly, if I'm in a sub-zero, snow covered place, please don't make me fight in a speedo!

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  • +'Keyblade Master'+
    +'Keyblade Master'+

    The only RPG I know of that tries is monster hunter

  • Sarah
    Sarah

    Dude, I so hear you. The Final Fantasy series is probably the worst offender. It's just laughable at this point.

  • Voyou San
    Voyou San

    i do agree with the outfits and them changing in different settings, it would make more sense.

  • FRicanKrazy
    FRicanKrazy

    Yup. I'm still waiting for that RPG that penalizes your health by going into a wintery environment underdressed, or gives you the random chance of heat stroke if it's too hot.

    That would make for some interesting gearing options.

  • QMarc80
    QMarc80

    ...waiting....
    Does anyone see a never ending loading screen?

  • Jozzy V1
    Jozzy V1

    I don't know about the clothing options, but this reminds me of when a friend of mine and I used to talk about having a game that was a full-fledged experience, but random real-life stuff could happen like your main character could have a stroke or your pants could split open when you duck down to open a chest

  • selly
    selly

    I totally Agree with you. It has always been a pet peeve of mine of why characters are always not dressed or has outfits for the right environment.

    If I was any of the characters going out with almost nothing on in the freezing cold, parts will be falling off, but then again quite honestly I enjoy the games to damn much to care.

  • loltim
    loltim

    @FricanKrazy: Two words: Fire Tunic

    Correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't there a substantial clothes-changing mechanic in FFX-2?

    Not that you would enjoy that game because of it, but if y'all want to play dress-up, by all means....

  • Relayer71
    Relayer71

    There was actually a PC RPG in the early 90s (maybe late 80s) where you could catch a cold and your stats would decrease until you rested and/or got cured.

    loltim, it's not so much about playing "dress-up" but about having appropriate gear for the right environment. Just kills immersion a little bit to walk around a snowy mountain wearing a thong and a bikini top, heh.

    FemJesse, "magically heating herself", that made me laugh, think I spit up some coffee, lol.

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