As a video game journalist, slow news days can be tough. April Fools’ Day, however, is even worse. Not only will there be next to no news, because no one wants to announce something today, but almost everything you read will be a ridiculous, fake story. Instead of jumping on this bandwagon, I’ve decided to try and alert you, news-seeking internet readers. Here are some things to be wary of today.

New Console Announced = LIE

Even at this early hour, the internet is littered with stories about amazing new systems that don’t exist, and probably never will. I’m sorry to tell you, but the Dreamcast 2 is not coming, the next PSP will not have magical time-altering capabilities, and Microsoft will not be announcing their oft-rumored handheld today. It seems kind of obvious that these stories would be fake, but it doesn’t hurt to be aware.

Long Dead Series Revived = LIE

Look, nothing would make me happier than if a new Maniac Mansion game was being made, but you an I both know that will never happen. I’m sure you can think of plenty of games that deserved a sequel and never got one, the ones that didn’t sell well or make enough of a mark when they were first released but went on to become cult classics. Don’t be surprised if you read about an old franchise getting a new installment today, and don’t believe it either.

Crossover Game With Characters Owned By Different Companies = LIE

EGM’s 2007 April Fools’ joke, the announcement of the nonexistent Mushroom Kingdom Hearts, remains, in my opinion, one of the best fake announcements ever. This was not only because people actually believed it, but because it was such a good freaking idea that people were genuinely disappointed when it turned out to be not true. They followed up the next year with Lego Halo, and have inspired countless other websites and publications to use their Photoshop skills to announce fake crossover games. No one’s falling for that one again!

Then again, if you told me ten years ago that Disney and Final Fantasy characters would eventually come together in an awesome action-RPG setting, I probably would have thought that was a lie, too.

Every Goddamn Thing You Read on the Internet Today = LIE

I can’t even begin to predict what kind of nonsense you’ll read on the internet today, but chances are a good portion of it will be part of a great big joke. Just keep in mind that, while most adults don’t even notice April Fools’ Day, people in our industry tend to take it very seriously. After all, it’s a chance to cut loose and take a break from the ultra-serious grind of playing video games for a living. While this day of pranks can make my job harder as a writer, it’s nice to see that most journalists at least have a sense of humor. That being said, don’t get your hopes up for any exciting announcements you may come across today. Wait and see if they’re still true tomorrow.

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