It's Tuesday morning and cloudy here in Los Angeles, and Coop and I are getting ready to take in the Nintendo Media Briefing at Club Nokia. Stay with us while we see whether Nintendo blows our minds or disappoints us immensely. Be sure to keep hitting that refresh button and joining in the fun!

All times are PST, and the newest event will appear on top.
___________________________________________________

10:13 - He brought up the vitality sensor again. DON'T RUIN IT! And it's over. Peace, we're heading to Sony.



10:12 - Metroid game unlike any you've experienced before, taking you deeper into the Metroid universe.

10:11 - Okay. Metroid: Other M looks awesome, is met by cheers.

10:10 - It's a Metroid game whaaaaaaaaat?!?!?!

10:09 - Team Ninja and Nintendo have joined to make... something...

10:09 - "Could a new, edgier game also be coming from us?" Doubtful. "Absolutely!" Hey! That was a trick question!

10:07 - Oh yeah, time for Dead Space: Extraction. It will answer the question "Exactly how did that disaster happen?"

10:05 - Time for a look at Resident Evil: Darkside Chronicles. "You're going to see familiar characters in a new light." Hey, I actually trust them to not screw this up completely.

10:04 - Telling us about third-party games we can play exclusively on Wii. The Conduit from Sega is first--yeah, that comes out this month.

10:03 - Reggie's back, assumably to close the show. Wait. "I'll be honest, I read the blogs too." Oh, yeah? Is there more?



10:03 - Super Mario Galaxy 2 met with LOUD applause and cheers.

10:02 - It looks. Fucking. Awesome. And thank god.

10:00 - New Mario Galaxy. OMG SOMETHING GOOD IS HAPPENING. HE'S RIDING YOSHI!!!!

10:00 - I feel like I've just been spit on. Cammie comes back out.

9:58 - Everyone is laughing... except Iwata. God, he's totally serious.



9:58 - Wii Vitality Sensor. It... takes your pulse. No, this has to be a joke.

9:57 - No mention of Wii Music when talking about Nintendo's games from the last year or so. Yeah, I'd want to forget that, too.

9:56 - They made progress with Mario Kart with the Wii wheel. Seriously, I have no idea what's going on.

9:55 - He's talking about trying to please all gamers and potential gamers and non gamers at once. I think. What the hell?

9:52 - He's a little hard to understand, but I think Iwata says that they've done a lot of research, and found that there are 3 types of gamers: active players, those who never play, and those who might play. They're trying to target those who might play. In other words, go fuck yourselves, core gamers! We don't need you anymore!

9:51 - Finally! It's time for global president Satoru Iwata.



9:49 - Time to look at The Legend of Zelda: OMG A TRAIN Spirit Tracks. Oh wait no, she's just gonna tell us we can play it on the floor. Uh okay. Can't wait to check it out actually.

9:49 - Starting this summer you can upload DSi photos to facebook. People are mildly impressed.

9:47 - WarioWare DIY (DSi) lets you create "your own game from scratch." Cammie says it's deeply compelling.



9:46 - Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Minis March Again for DSi will feature user-created content of some sort. It will be playable on the show floor, we'll let you know later how it is. Coming next Monday to DSiWare.

9:46 - Flipnote Studio, a simple movie maker, will be available for DSi this summer. Eh.

9:45 - Dude, New Super Mario Bros. Wii looks good, but that better not have been their only big announcement. Let's fucking go, Cammie.

9:45 - This is going downhill fast. Coop has a plan. "I need to save Nintendo. I'm going to charge the stage and yell NEW ZELDA! NEW ZELDA!"

9:44 - OMG YOU GUYZ DID YOU KNOW GIRLS PLAY GAMES NOW?

9:43 - Looking at the DSi now. Give me a reason to buy it, please. Video interviews with DSi owners are lame.

9:43 - People openly laughing.

9:42 - Okay Cammie, I'm done with you. Where's Iwata?

9:41 - And #3 is "Style Savvy" for female gamers. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!

9:40 - Now it's time for Ubisoft's C.O.P.: The Recruit. Looks kinda cheesy.

9:39 - Example #1: James Patterson's Women's Murder Club interactive book thing coming to DS. People are laughing. Wow, that's terrible. Strike on, Cammie. (People still laughing, by the way).

9:38 - Cammie's back onstage. She wants to show us some examples of risk-taking and innovation. Oh, this should be good.



9:37 - It's Golden Sun DS, and met with cheers. First Golden Sun game since 2004, will be out in 2010.

9:36 - It's a DS game, by the way. Coming out Fall 2009 in North America and Europe. OMG ONE MORE IMPORTANT RPG.

9:35 - Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story trailer comes out of nowhere!

9:34 - Now we're looking at one of those Kingdom Hearts spinoffs, the one with the stupid name (358/2 Days). I'm wary about KH spinoffs, can we get a real KH game please?

9:33 - We're looking at a Square Enix RPG of some sort... for a minute I thought Coop's Kingdom Hearts prediction was really happening and damn near had a heart attack. It's another Crystal Chronicles game, Crystal Bearers.

9:32 - "Let's focus on the RPG." Say what now?

9:31 - "All the mistakes you make will be reflected perfectly... these games will have you muttering the same bad words you do in real life." That's not very family friendly, Reg!

9:30 - Reggie wins and embarrasses the other guy off the stage. All right, let's move on. Wii Sports Resort launches on July 26, we already knew this. He's talking about Tiger Woods 2010 having a Wii Motion Plus bundle, also old news. EA Grand Slam Tennis and Virtua Tennis too.

9:29 - I miss Cammie. What? Who said that?

9:28 - Awkward jokes about how Reggie tells Iwata he works "every waking moment!" Then Reggie makes fun of other dude's height. Now they're shooting baskets. Actually doesn't look terribly different that the basketball exercise in EA Sports Active.

9:27 - Reggie comes back out on stage to kick ass at Wii Sports Resort.

9:26 - I can never tell if these Nintendo peeps are not doing well on purpose, or they actually suck at video games.



9:25 - Now we're looking at archery. I used to do archery at summer camp. I think that pretty much makes me an expert.

9:23 - You start by jumping out of an airplane. WHOA CRAZY. You can spin the guy with the remote! Come on Nintendo this game comes out like next month. How about something new?

9:23 - Forgothisname Jones comes up to demo Wii Sports Resort with MP.

9:22 - Oh man, Wii Sports Resort. WAIT A SECOND THAT'S FROM LAST YEAR TOO.

9:21 - Motion Plus trailer is kind of boring, and not telling us anything new. Wish someone would bring me more coffee.

9:20 - Showing someone playing ping pong on video with a Wii Motion Plus remote. Yes, I certainly don't play enough ping pong.

9:19 - Reggie, you announced this last year. Are you looking at the 2008 press conference script?

9:18 - He's talking innovation in peripherals. And it's time for Wii Motion Plus.

9:18 - Reggie Fils-Aime takes the stage!

9:17 - Will launch this holiday season in a balance board bundle, and standalone.

9:16 - 15 new balance games, so that Wii Fit Plus will still be fun. "Think of it as Brain Age for your backside." Really, Cammie?



9:14 - And it's Wii Fit Plus. Six new strength and yoga activities. You can mix and match and combine individual elements. Omit interludes between exercises. All right guys, I'll give it to you, that's an improvement. Will also keep track of calories burned.

9:13 - Okay, time to talk Wii Fit. We knew this was coming. "Some analysts have stopped looking at the balance board as an accessory, and started looking at it as its own gaming system."

9:12 - Cammie takes over again. NSMB Wii will be playable this week, hell yes. Will launch holiday season 2009.



9:11 - If you're too slow you get wiped offscreen. Hahaha hilarious way to screw your friends. This isn't what I expected, but it sure looks fun.

9:10 - New item: the propellor. "If I had one of those, I'd be wearing it every day. That thing is SWEET."

9:09 - New Super Mario Bros. on Wii supports up to four players. Looks just the DS version, which was a fantastic game. This might be awesome.

9:08 - NEW SUPER MARIO BROS. FOR WII?! Some dude whose name I didn't catch takes the takes the stage. Cammie's gonna play, uh oh.



9:07 - Mario montage. "It seems like he's already done it all." Oh man are they getting right to it?!

9:06 - Cammie promises innovation and surprises. You'd best be ready to back that up!

9:05 - Last year video games were bigger than "home video". What is this, 1985? Anyway, video games are huge, everyone loves them. Who knew?

9:04 - Cammie Dunaway takes the stage! She's looking sharp in that white suit. "There is one thing that every one of us here has in common: a professional relationship to video games." True story.



9:03 - Here we go, for realsies this time. There's a montage of people using Nintendo products, this is the beginning.

8:59 - We will have immediate hands-on with the games after the presser... but we have to go to Sony's press conference! Now why would Nintendo do something that might cut into another publisher's event?

8:54 - Ominous voice means business this time, it's time to silence cell phones. OH SNAP.

8:50 - The ominous voice is back! "The program is about to begin."

8:45 - An ominous voice asks us to take our seats, the presser is about to begin. YEEEEAAAAHHHHH!

8:44 - I've only had three cups of coffee today, hope I don't crash in the middle of this thing. More people filing in now, luckily someone equally short sat in front of me.



8:41 - Also some Zelda and Mario questions. PLEASE let this be an indicator of things to come.

8:38 - Whilst waiting, a bunch of Nintendo trivia is appearing on the screen. I've noticed a few Resident Evil and Silent Hill questions. Does this mean it's going to be a survival horror-filled presser?