More Troublesome Tales of a Female Gamer

For those of you who are newer to the site and don’t know much about me, I was an assistant manager at GameStop up until about 11 months ago. I also happen to be female. Because of this, I took a lot of crap from ignorant customers who assumed that I both knew nothing about video games and had no power in the store because I happened to have boobs. As you could probably imagine, it was both insulting and infuriating, and something I was glad to leave behind when I came over to Gamervision full-time.
Maybe this was naïve of me, but I kind of thought most of my gender-related woes were behind me. For the most part, I’ve been accepted in the community, and my status as a female has no bearing on my qualifications as a writer and a gamer, which is exactly how it should be. There are moments, however, when I start to feel some of that old frustration coming back to me, as I’m put in a position where I feel the need to defend my abilities just because I’m a girl.
Often, it’s just little moments that do this, but that doesn’t mean that they have the same effect on me. There was the guy at PAX who, while watching me play a game, stated “Now you want to push the B button. It’s the red one.” I guess he didn’t notice that I was a member of the gaming press, or that I was doing just fine without his instructions. He wasn’t the only one; there were also the guys watching me play Saints Row 2 in amazement that a girl would actually play such a game. Playing games on Xbox Live with strangers is barely even an option anymore, at least with a headset on. Sometimes when I play something with a group of guys I don’t know, as soon as they hear that I’m a girl, their responses vary from sheer amazement to a slew of disgusting comments. Give me a break.
What I get a lot, and what I’m getting increasingly sick of, is “Oh, you don’t get it, you’re a girl.” This often happens when I do something like point out the idiocy of having chicks dressed in ridiculously skimpy costumes in games where a lot of action is taking place. Yes, guys, I know it’s nice to look at girls in low-cut tops, but that's what the internet is for. Personally, the impracticality of a woman running around in a tube top and mini-skirt while fighting for her life against hordes of zombies can often take me right out of the game. But hey, what do I know? I’m just a girl.
While I could go on for far longer than anyone would want about the disgusting so-called girl market that a whole lot of shovelware seems to be directed at, I’ll keep it short. Basically, games like Ubisoft’s Babiez series really disgust me. Okay, maybe playing Imagine Babiez is comparable to young girls playing with dolls years ago, and there’s not necessarily anything wrong with that. However, when I worked at GameStop, I noticed a disturbing number of games in which the point was to take care of young children or infants, as if girls want nothing more than that out of life. What crap! And don’t even get me started on the Bratz series; why any parent thinks that a game about ten-year-old hookers is a good choice for his or her daughter is beyond me.
In all honesty, I would love to purge the world of the phrase “girl gamers” entirely. If you’re a gamer, who gives a shit what gender you are? No one says thinks like “girl book readers”, no one is interested in polls examining what percentage of women watch television, so why should this form of entertainment be any different? Newsflash, women enjoy video games—all kinds of video games, even ones that don’t have babies or misspelled words on the cover! It’s been that way for decades, and it’s not stopping any time soon. For the (hopefully) last time, let’s all get over it and move on, for crying out loud.
Guys, what do you have to say about all of this? Most of the community members here at Gamervision have been pretty awesome, and not given me any crap about being a girl, but I still want to know what you think about the gender issue. And girls, what have your experiences been like as a gamer? Have things gotten any better or worse for you in recent years? Am I overreacting? Let’s discuss.
Related Articles:
Troublesome Tales of a Girl Game Store Clerk
- Comments
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Seanasaur: That's another angle that makes gaming with other girls so nice. Girls seem way more willing to trade you something or help out, even if they're getting shafted a little, just to keep the fun going (Especially two girls playing together.) The sad fact is that some people just think you don't know what things are worth and think they're getting the better of a dumb girl. I can't count how many times I've repeated things I've already done just to help other people finish it.
Nikkita: I had to make a sign last year that read "Halloweenz"
Explain that...
FemJesse
Thu, 25 September 2008 01:19PM
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I think we have the phrase "gamer girls" because there are so few. :/ I'm still trying to figure out why (guys dominate the game market).
Ubrasaur
Thu, 25 September 2008 03:36AM
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sean: there is no such thing as too much mascara! too much foundation on the other hand... and sorry, too much boob.
but yes, i would like to know why girls are apparently drawn to the letter z
Nikkita
Wed, 24 September 2008 04:10PM
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PLAY WITH THE POM POMS I GOT YOU.
And by that, I mean, it's alright. The "B" button thing wasn't sexist, it was based on the fact that there were all types of gamers there, hardcore and not. There is a place for these games, and they are getting people into games that otherwise might not.
Coop
Wed, 24 September 2008 04:06PM
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i always get called a fag in Warhawk because i am the pink hearts clan. :(
Voyou San
Wed, 24 September 2008 03:59PM
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I think that one of the biggest issues facing women as a demographic is the proliferation of the female gaming clans. PMS Clan and the Frag Dolls purport to be dedicated to getting girls as gamers taken seriously, but it is really hard to hear that message when it's mixed with hot pants, too much mascara, and push-up bras. The 13 year old boys and frat guys that make up the majority of core gamers see these women and assume that any girl playing a video game exists to first provide titillation. I understand that sex sells, and that the clans are in business to make money. However it seems like they are actually doing more harm for women as a market share than good.
Sean
Wed, 24 September 2008 03:45PM
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I agree with your sentiments. As a current GameStop employee (at a store with a female manager and not one, but two female assistant managers) it's getting a bit unnerving the amount of titles that have be shoveled out, by one developer in particular (I'm looking at you, Ubisoft) that are aimed at "girl gamers". At this point, it's not trying to fill a niche in the market, it's pandering. It's also insulting, not just to women as a gender, but to the gamer group as a whole. These dev teams have nothing better to do than churn out this crap and hope that girls will buy it? I find that hard to believe.
The Xbox Live issue stems from too many 12 and 13 year old boys being allowed to play online whenever they want. Like Tim, I, too, have been the victim of several... ahem, necrophilic acts. At one point, I literally ripped the headset out of the controller and trough it across the room, afraid that their mindset might somehow transfer to my brain. Personally, I have to say that some of the best times I've had playing games have been with girls. To this day the most fun I've had playing Call of Duty 4 was with a woman I was randomly matched with who didn't take the game too seriously (also something that many of the 12-13 year old boys do). Similarly, the most fun I've had with Rock Band and Guitar Hero was with a girl who consistantly kept up with or beat me on expert (I was damn near going to propose to her on the spot for being so good at those two games).
This noncompetitive (maybe the wrong word there but I think you know what I'm going for) attitude toward games is what makes playing with girls so fun, I think. My guild in WoW is almost completely comprised of female gamers, which in my opinion, is much better than male because the emphasis is helping others out, not leaving others in the dust when it comes to level, gear, etc.
seanasaurus
Wed, 24 September 2008 02:59PM
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Yeah I know where you girls are coming from. I'm not sure what it is about me, but whenever I play on Xbox Live, I always get hit on by gay guys. It's always fag-this, and queer-that. And when I get killed, they like to come over and simulate gay acts on my lifeless body.
I mean, I'm flattered I guess. But I always have to politely explain that, I am in fact, NOT gay, but that I'm enjoying playing with them, regardless of their sexual preferences. More often than not, they don't get the hint and continue to insinuate that i am a homosexual. Poor guys. Must be so hard to meet people these days.
loltim
Wed, 24 September 2008 02:11PM
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jess brings up a great point here. growing up with two influential male gamers, my brother and dad, i was never challenged for being a "girl gamer" because they were always accepting of what i did or didnt want to play. my dad cruised the market for games that he thought would make his uber prissy daughter happy ranging from kings quest to licensed barbie games. my brother took the time (bless his patience) to intoduce me to and teach me how to play all of the console games that he played. if i wouldnt had been started on gaming with something that i was drawn to (albeit, pink) who knows what i would have thought of mortal kombat 2.
for the record, i fucking loved it.
Nikkita
Wed, 24 September 2008 01:52PM
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great article! it's incredibly demeaning and insulting to have to deal with supposed "girl games" which are seemingly only marketed to the tween and younger crowd. what about adult women who game, even casually, and would like to buy a game without being pandered to?
in terms of being accepted by boys/men who play games, i honestly think the best thing to do is just shut up and play. if you're good at the game it won't take long for the guys to figure that out, and if you're not good at least you played like a person instead of whining about your gender the whole time (which is not an attack on sarah, because i know she doesn't do that). i feel like all-girl gaming clans only serve to feed the misconception that girl gamers somehow need to be segregated because of their gender. grow up! there are haters everywhere! play what you like and just deal with it.
Makyo
Wed, 24 September 2008 01:48PM
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Nice write up and I agree.
I dont like hearing the idiot wind that blows from the ignorant gamers mouth online toward women/girls...and I'm a guy.
Its like myspace or road rage. There is no fear of consequence so the random gamer can act, spew, rant, project, offend, insult and just plain act like a jerk off.
thats online, of course.
The guys at PAX...hehe, it sounds to me like that was their way of hitting on you. LAME.
It seems (my observation) to be getting better every year, although I dont think it will entirely go away. Racism/gay bashing/hostile behavior is another thing that's prevalent that needs to stop.
Hopefully here soon, gender wont be as big of in issue.
Bastardometer
Wed, 24 September 2008 01:37PM
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wait a second, your a girl???????
:)
I agree with you as I think there is a huge misconception that girl gamers want to play strictly "girly" games. As far as girls talking on microphones, it is pathetic to be around in the fact that all the guys suddenly turn into huge dicks and spend the whole time hitting on the girl.. its just lame
Voyou San
Wed, 24 September 2008 01:30PM
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... but the girls are so skilled at dodging and fighting that they don't get hit as much as the men, so they don't need as much armor.
=D
FemJesse
Wed, 24 September 2008 01:30PM
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See, what I should have made more clear is, I don't really have a problem with ridiculous girl costumes in games like the Final Fantasy series, because like you said, the males are dressed equally ridiculous; I also have no beef with girls being attractive in general in games, because the guys usually are too. I just hate games that are supposed to be more realistic, where the guys are dressed appropriately for the situation, and the girls look like they just came straight from the club or something.
Sarah
Wed, 24 September 2008 01:21PM
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Also remember that (sexy) realistic character design in realistic games makes stylized games more appealing in contrast. So if you want more of the good you're going to always have to endure more of the bad.
FemJesse
Wed, 24 September 2008 01:13PM
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I find it insulting when people don't want to play with me on XBLA because they hear my voice and don't know how to talk to girls so they kick me out of their game. For this reason I've been having to silence the mic in public rooms before the game starts. Maybe they just know that my legit gray knight will pummel their ass.
I've had different experiences with the guys I have played with, and most of them (that didn't sound like they were 14 or under, because they don't count as guys yet) were pretty cool and helpful.I have no beef with sexy character design, because I feel that most male game protagonists are also fairly good looking and dressed ridiculously.
I'm going to be honest on this one, if I had a little girl that wanted a copy of Babiez, I would get it for her. I feel like playing "bad" games as a child prepared me to judge what makes a good game as an adult. Besides, Babiez would have been the coolest thing ever when I was six.
To avoid the whole "you don't get it cause your a girl." use your wiley sarcasm glands and pretend to get it.
"This game needs more boobies."
They won't understand sarcasm and you'll just sound like the coolest girl ever.I never have that problem cause I "get" everything. =o
FemJesse
Wed, 24 September 2008 01:09PM
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