This weekend, I finally had a chance to play through the wonderful experience that is Portal, which is one-fifth of the game known as The Orange Box. After making it through every mission, dismantling some cameras, and befriending an inanimate weighted block, it’s safe to say that I’ve become a little bit obsessed with the game. The concept of the portals is especially intriguing, and I can’t help but wonder what I could do if I had my own portal gun.



Making the Commute Easier
It’s a long trek from South Philly to Doylestown every day, but how cool would it be if I could skip the train and just portal myself into the office? All I would have to do is leave one open portal next to my desk at the end of the day, and shoot one in my house in the morning. I’d save myself a two-hour trip and a ton of money on train fare.

Practical Jokes



Want to play a funny trick on a friend, or maybe a little brother who’s getting on your nerves? Step one: shoot an orange portal on the ceiling. Step two: shoot a blue portal beneath your victim’s feet. Step three: watch the hilarity ensue!

Quicker Trips to the Kitchen
Sometimes, when you’re in the middle of playing a really intense game, you just don’t want to stop to grab a snack or a beverage, no matter how hungry or thirsty you are. So why not leave a portal next to the fridge? That way, you can shoot an alternate one wherever you are, and just reach in and get what you need. Like cake.

Let the Dog Take Himself Out
If you’re anything like my roommates, you love your dog, but don’t love having to take him outside to do his business, especially in the middle of the night. With your own portal gun, it’s not a problem! Just leave one outside, and when the dog starts barking to be taken out, direct him through the portal. Trust me, he’ll be just as happy to get back to his busy day of napping a whole lot quicker.



Give Hugs… To Yourself
This one comes from our good friend Coop, who just loves to hug himself. Ever hugged yourself through a portal? Perfect for those who just aren’t getting enough affection. You can never have too many hugs, after all.