Video games aren’t just mindless entertainment. There are plenty of things we can learn from them, if we only heed their lessons. Recently, EA brought to life a centuries-old poem about one man’s journey through Hell with Dante’s Inferno. Though the game made some missteps, it also served to teach many lessons to a new generation, which is probably how Dante Alighieri would have wanted it. Here are a few life (and death) lessons to take away from Dante’s Inferno.



Forgiveness is Harder than Condemnation.

Forgiving a person for the things he or she has done wrong can be one of the hardest things to do in life, or in the afterlife. Dante encountered plenty of historical sinners on his journey, and in choosing to damn them, he simply ran his scythe through their heads and was on his merry way. Absolution, on the other hand, required a button-pressing mini-game, which wasn’t always worth Dante’s time. It’s easier to make someone pay eternally for his crimes than simply let it go.



Genitalia Can Be Used as a Weapon.

If you happen to find yourself in the circle of Lust, congratulations on a life well lived. Though you’ll reside eternally in the second circle of Hell, you may find yourself equipped with a new… endowment. Damned souls in Lust regularly use their giant genitals to assault others. You’ve got to admit, as far as melee attacks go, that one’s got style.



Being a Flatterer or a Hypocrite is Worse Than Being Excessively Violent.

Remember that the next time you want to suck up to your boss, or change your mind about an issue just to suit your own whims. There are few things worse than flatterers and hypocrites on Earth, and if you choose to go down that path, you’ll be forced to spend eternity in one of the deepest circles in Hell, surrounded by other fraudulent souls. You’re better off just being a murderer or something.



Babies are Pains in the Ass.

As if the constant screaming, crying, and pooping weren’t enough, the legions of unbaptized babies Dante finds in Limbo are demonically irritating. Don’t let their innocent appearances fool you; they’d like nothing more than to gang up on you and tear you to shreds. A wise woman once stated that “Hell is for children”, but I think she actually meant “Hell is for annoying little Limbo babies”.



It’s Faster to Play a Video Game Than Read a Book.

I’m not trying to promote illiteracy or anything, but if you need to learn about Hell quickly, you can probably play through most of Dante’s Inferno before reading all of Dante Aligheiri’s Inferno. It’s not exactly the same, but close enough, right? Video games are the new CliffsNotes. Also, if your teacher claims that Dante was a poet and not a crusader, call him a liar, and then write a report about the creatures that came out of Cleopatra’s nipples while Satan violated Beatrice. Now that’s what I call a term paper.