When you’re in college, you might be tempted to think you know all there is to know about life. I’m aware that at the wise old age of 20, you probably feel like you are invincible, and that it’s no big deal to break into the mansion of a deranged family just to save your skanky girlfriend. That sort of chivalry is admirable, but be warned! Don’t check under the mat for that key until you’ve properly prepared yourself. Here are the lessons I learned from my brutal experiences with Maniac Mansion.



Trespassers will be horribly mutilated.

This warning is not an empty threat! Heed these words and watch your step, or else you’ll be the next one hooked up to the Zom-B-Matic having your brain sucked out. Dr. Fred, Weird Ed, and the household tentacles won’t hesitate to destroy you. And God help you if Nurse Edna finds you creeping around her bedroom. Let’s just say that’s a fate worse than death.



Always look for the loose brick.

If by chance you are not horribly mutilated immediately and instead thrown into the dungeon to await your gruesome fate, fear not! All hope is not lost. It may take an embarrassingly long time to find it, but there is a way out. Scour the walls until you find a loose brick, the secret to opening the heavily-padlocked exit door. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stay open for long, so you’ll have to hope that another one of your friends makes it to the dungeon to help you out. Then he’ll be the one stuck there, but you’ll come back for him after you have saved the world, right?



Chainsaws are not as useful as they would seem.

I know it’s perfectly normal to wander around a house you have broken into collecting random objects, but not all of them are useful. A blood-stained chainsaw would appear to be handy when you’re faced with some of the most insane people on the planet (not to mention that murderous intergalactic purple meteor!), but if it’s out of gas, leave it behind. Otherwise, you’ll end up dragging it all over the house for no reason, which might be a minor inconvenience.



Don’t leave the power off for too long.

At some point, you might need to turn off the electricity for one reason or another. That’s just fine, but whatever you need to do, do it quickly. The nuclear reactor next to the power switch should serve as a hint, but in case you’re unaware, keeping the power off for too long will make the whole mansion go KABOOM! The same goes for draining the pool, a notorious cause of home explosions.



Mad scientists are really bad at hiding their secret labs.

They are also really bad at spelling. Regardless, if you’re looking for the “SECKRIT LAB”, look no further than the glaringly obvious spray-painted announcement on the dungeon wall. Good thing Dr. Fred thought to install two heavily guarded doors… and then leave the keys lying around the house.