Remember Toe Jam & Earl, the two lovable and goofy aliens who lived for all things funk? Their adventures were first chronicled in the Sega Genesis game in which they landed on Earth after Earl crashed their spaceship. They relentlessly collected spaceship pieces to make it back to their home planet of Funkotron, avoiding the threatening and bizarre Earthlings who made constant attempts to thwart them. The two jammin’ aliens also had a couple more adventures, as seen in the Genesis sequel Panic on Funkotron and the early Xbox game Toe Jam & Earl III: Mission to Earth.

However, it’s been several years since we’ve heard from them, so I had to wonder what was up. After all, they are responsible for the presence of funk in the galaxy. Who knows where we would be without them and their friends?

Toe Jam



After saving both Earth and Funkotron a number of times, Toe Jam eventually had a falling out with his best friend Earl. It seems he never really forgave his chubby friend for crashing their spaceship the first time they landed on Earth, and is still traumatized by the things he saw there.

Friendless and alone, Toe Jam decided that the best thing to do would be to return to the planet he dreaded so much and face his fear. This time, his trip was much more pleasant. After settling in, he earned a spot on the U.S. Olympic team, his third leg giving him a distinct advantage in the track and field events. However, he was disqualified and forced to return his medals when the judges discovered that he had been using rocket skates.

Now an outcast on Earth, TJ was forced to return to Funkotron, where Earl welcomed him back with open arms. After having repairing his fractured friendship, Toe Jam has begun to work on his other issues.

Earl



After Toe Jam left Funkotron, Earl fell into a deep funk (and not the good kind). According to his family, he didn’t leave his house for over a year. While staying in his room, existing only on junk food and playing World of Funkcraft, Earl eventually realized that he didn’t need to be Toe Jam’s sidekick anymore.

After this epiphany, he decided to change his life around. He started dieting and exercising, eventually losing several hundred pounds. He then took an interest in politics and after holding several government positions, he was promoted to Funklord of Funkotron. With the help of his good friend Lamont, Earl managed to fulfill his campaign promise to make Funkotron the funkiest planet in the universe.

Lamont the Funkopotamus

Already famous for being the source of all of the funk in the universe, Lamont resolved to devote his life to helping others whose lives were devoid of funk. He became the leading Funk Therapist in the universe, with Toe Jam being his most notable patient. He is pleased to report that Toe Jam is in much better mental health and no longer fears Earthlings, although he does still occasionally have nightmares about the Boogeyman.

Lamont didn’t want to be pictured here for personal reasons. He enjoys a private life at home and would prefer to keep his identity under wraps for as long as possible.

Planet Earth



Earth has been a much better place since Toe Jam and Earl brought some funk to it. No longer the primitive and vast wasteland it once was, the number of psychotic dentists and hypnotizing hula dancers has been greatly reduced. Some countries decided to throw out their current means of government and adopt Funkotron’s promotion system, which they discovered after hitchhiking to the planet after Toe Jam and Earl left Earth the first time.

Sadly, demonic mailboxes are still running rampant, with no hope of stopping them. To reduce the number of mail-related casualties, paper mail has been completely outlawed in the United States.