Listing the top villains in game history is as old as Netscape and Prodigy. Hell, you could probably compile a top 100 list of the best top ten villain lists on the internet. But one thing that almost all of these lists neglect is the simple fact that sometimes a villain may actually be the best character in a game. It goes to the same idea that movies have played on for years: we like to cheer for the bad guys. It’s with that idea in mind that I have come up with this, the top ten game villains we secretly love. Some we love because they’re so unabashedly evil, some we love because they’re easy on the eyes. The fact remains that all of the entries on this list are the kinds of bad guy that we would happily turn to the dark side for.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

#10 - Wario (Mario Series)

First introduced in Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins, Wario was the polar opposite to Mario’s squeaky clean goody-two-shoes attitude. In that game, he turned the citizenry of Mario Land against the Italian plumber, renaming the world "Wario Land".  It took a while for us to warm up to his cackle and crinkled mustache, but today, he’s the star of a series of games that someday will be blamed for increasing the ADD numbers in the United States. And that's the kind of villainy that you can't duplicate.

#9 - Mike Tyson (Mike Tyson's Punch-Out)

Tyson is unique to this list in that he’s a villain in a video game as well as in real life. I’ll leave the real life issues for another list, because this one is all about games. Anyone who has ever played Punch-Out knows that Iron Mike is as formidable an opponent as they come. Hell, you literally can’t even land a punch on him for almost the first two whole minutes of the fight. You have to content yourself with well-timed dodging and staying alive long enough to hope that Mike will wear himself out. Although he’s a badass and next-to impossible to beat, you have to admire his style. Pure puncher.

#8 - Lt. General Shepard (Modern Warfare 2)

In Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, 30,000 American troops are killed when a nuclear device is detonated in the Middle East. Although the masterminds of the attack are ultimately brought to justice (read: killed), the commander of those troops, Lt. General Shepard, has a hard time letting go of it, and holds Vladimir Makarov personally responsible. In the sequel, Modern Warfare 2, Shepard attempts to get his revenge on Makarov, and in the game’s surprise moment, executes Roach and Ghost in the Caucasus Mountains. Although he’s a duplicitious and sociopathic general, you have to hand it to Shepard: he’s dedicated to what he believes in. You don’t necessarily have to agree with him, but you have to respect someone who is willing to off his own troops in order to avenge a personal vendetta.

#7 - Mr. Egg (BurgerTime)

An actual conversation that took place in-office while putting this list together:

Me: And number seven will be the Egg from BurgerTime.

Dom: What? Why would you pick the Egg from BurgerTime?!

Me: It’s a walking fried egg. How can you not like that?

Dom: It’s fucking annoying.

Me: It’s. A. Walking. Fried. Egg.

#6 - Poison (Final Fight)

Metro City can be a dangerous place. With thugs kidnapping the mayor’s daughter, and melee weapons lying around on seemingly every street corner, it’s not exactly the kind of city you’d want to take your vacation in. Fighting your way through Final Fight, you’ll eventually encounter Poison, the hotpants wearing, handcuff carrying, pink haired ass kicker. While I can question the martial merits of fighting in high heels and a sports bra, what I can’t question is that for many a young gamer, Poison was the first introduction to the world of bondage, a world where beautiful women would beat the shit out of you and you’d thank them for the privilege. The possibility that Poison is actually a man doesn’t really do a whole lot to dissuade our love, as that introduces a whole different (and somewhat disturbing) world to gamers . . .

#5 - Darth Vader (Star Wars: The Force Unleashed)

Although Vader is technically Starkiller’s ally in The Force Unleashed, there’s no game or work of fiction that can be created where Darth Vader is anything but a villain. The man chokes his subordinates to death over conference calls, layers black on top of black on top of black, and blows up planets. Whole fucking planets. Populated ones, too.  He finds his way onto this list, however, for the simple fact that for an entire level in TFU, Vader struts around, laying waste to dozens of Wookies. It’s about time someone did.

#4 - Sephiroth (Final Fantasy VII)

Possibly the most iconic antagonist from one of the most iconic game franchises in history, Sephirtoh’s combination of physical strength, magical powers, and androgeny has won the hearts and minds of an entire generation of RPG fans of both genders. Just look at that hair, those eyes, those pouty lips. Okay, okay, stop licking the screen. In spite of the fact that he murders Aerith, doubtlessly one of the most shocking and heartbreaking plot twists ever, he's still the most cosplayed Final Fantasy character this side of Tifa.

#3 - The Joker (Batman: Arkham Asylum)

Mark Hamill’s face may be synonymous with Luke Skywalker, but his voice is 100% the Joker. Since his first appearance as the Clown Prince of Crime on Batman the Animated Series in 1992, there has been no doubt that this young Jedi was born to embody Batman’s archnemesis. In Arkham Asylum, Hamill’s lilting tones and manical laughter were the perfect underlining to the grim and dreary world of Gotham’s home for the criminally insane. His constant taunting of Batman drew us deeper into the experience. Although the final fight against the Joker was a bit of a letdown, the fact is that Arkham Asylum wouldn’t have been half as good without the Monstrous Mountebank. Who can forget the mindfuck that was the third Scarecrow encounter, where for a brief time, we got to walk in Joker's shoes.

#2 - Carmen Sandiego (Carmen Sandiego Series)

The hottest enemy on this list, by far, Carmen Sandiego is not only a master thief, she can also breeze in and out of any state, country, or historical era with the greatest of ease. Her criminal exploits gave us, as junior detectives, a reason to exist. Sure, she acted like the great treasures of the world were her personal playthings, but that’s just what you call “high maintenance”.

#1 - GLaDOS (Portal)

Even though she seems hell bent on Chell’s destruction, and in spite of all of her lies and deception, you can’t not love GLaDOS.  It’s not just the promise of delicious cake, no, the real reason we all hold her in our hearts is quite simple: that voice. There isn’t a single nerd in the world who doesn’t want to come home to the melodically digitized tones of GLaDOS’s soothing voice. Sure, she’s a psychopathic AI mind gone insane, but you can’t tell me you wouldn’t want to hear her say, “I love you. Sweet dreams.” before going to sleep for the night. In a game where the protagonist is almost completely lacking in personality, a series of programmed ones and zeroes provides more than enough.