Etsy, the final frontier of handmade goods on the internet. Actually, it's one of the first places I check, so that analogy doesn't work. Forgive me, I'm overheated. If only I could take my skin off. Anyway, as I've said before, to get to the gems of Etsy, you have to dig through a whole lot of garbage. But today is your lucky day as I've already done you the favor of sifting through 55 pages of Super Mario Bros. related goods to bring you my top ten Mario Etsy listings. Let the countdown begin!

10. Painted Yoshi's Island Slip-On Sneaks - ParadoxArtistry - $150.00

Apart from being eternally convenient as a slip-on shoe, this particular pair won my heart over with not just the incorporation of my beloved Yoshi, but for going with the Yoshi's Island theme all together. Each pair is painted when requested, guaranteeing you to get your desired size, the artwork is dead on and it's painted to last through all types of inclimate weather from rain to snow. These shoes are meant to be worn and meant to be seen. Good thing too since they're going to set you back $150.00. But hey, you'll probably win the lottery anyway.

 

9. Mushroom Goggles - Cyb3rburn - $19.99

Okay, so these goggles actually made it onto the list because they kind of perplexed me. But I've never been one for being conventional. And though I've pretty much outgrown my steampunk fascination, I'll always have a place in my heart for some chunky goggles. Plus, if you're in the market to mod your Mario themed costume for this upcoming Halloween (the best costumes are planned early, people!), these specs could definitely 1up your get-up. 

 

8. Engraved Mario Shot Glasses - Placidrain - $10.00 Each

Baby, you're a star. At least that's what you must think after about 6 or 7 shots of tequila and depending on how that goes, who knows, maybe you really are! Shot glasses are an important portal to adulthood, paving way for the collection of all your other fancy tableware sets. Luckily, being the wildest out of the glass family, you have a little more liberty with what you choose to represent your alcohol abusing ways. And if you want to go the way of Mario, you can still keep it classy with this matching engraved bunch. Shot glasses are available in star, Bullet Bill, mushroom and Boo varieties. In the case your favorite glass sells out, you can always put in a request.

 

7. Embroidered Fire Flower Card - NerdJerk - $4.50

Sometimes the tackiness of a store-bought, pre-written greeting card just won't cut it. So in the case your artistry skills won't suffice for a special occasion of celebration and friendship, this embroidered Fire Flower card could save you a lot of face, impressing the receivers with a sweetly stitched geeky design. Because hey, embroidery is always impressive! Not to mention that most of the time it's just best to k.i.s.s. (keep it simple, stupid).

 

6. Mushroom Necklace - Tizzalicious - $13.50

Okay, so I have a little bit of a weakness for things both cute and pink. And while I know that the mushroom theme extends beyond the realm of Mario and into Alice in Wonderland, other fairy tales and drug paraphernalia, I'm still adding it to the list. Because it looks like a Mario mushroom to me. And it's adorable. So let's make it so. Great, thanks. 

 

5. Duct Tape DS Lite/DSI Cases - AutumnSilverMoon - $14.00

Duct tape is a miraculous thing that can be twisted into anything from shoes to a prom dress. And while I generally just keep my DS in my bag or pocket (keeping it simple, stupid) I can still admire the craft and hard work of taped up Mario-themed DS cases which, quite honestly, overshadow the rest of the shop. Aw, who am I kidding? I'm attracted to them because they're shiny! My personal favorites include both the 1up mushroom and star shown above, and of course, the red super mushroom. But there are plenty more to browse through here.

 

4. Super Mario Brothers 3 Map Cross-Stitch Pattern - Bella Stitchery - $6.99

Here's one reserved for us crafty people, a cross-stitch pattern of the map from Super Mario Bros. 3. Once purchased, the pattern will be emailed to you via PDF and will include the DMC floss code. For those of you who don't know, that's the thread commonly used in cross-stitching. The final product, if executed on the suggested count fabric, will measure in at 19 x 17 inches. New to stitching? No problem. It's not a complicated pattern, just big. Oh and awesome. It's definitely awesome.

 

3. Mario and Princess Peach Dog Costumes - Young Urban Puppy - $16.50

I'd be a cruel and inhumane person to not pay credit to this poor little hot dog's modeling efforts. Plus, depending on who you'll be dressing up as on Halloween, it may be nice to have a matching companion. That's why you have a dog, don't you? To match your outfits? Right. While I don't really expect most gamers to be too thrilled with some of the more... dressy costumes, both the Mario and Princess Peach options are pretty respectable. At least as far as dog costumes go. And even though it's not Mario, the Gameboy pup is so damn cute, I can't stand it. I dare you to resist looking at it here.

 

2. Sterling Silver Mario Pendant - SketchyStories - $39.00

In the spirit of keeping it classy after gushing over puppy clothes, this solid sterling silver Mario pendant puts to shame the hundreds of perler bead jewelry crap I had to shuffle through before I found this darling shop. The goods don't end with Mario. As a matter of fact, it wasn't even him that initially caught my eye. Other pieces include an awesome pixel heart and Mega Man. Be tempted at your own risk.

 

1. Mario and Yoshi Print -SirMitchell - $50.00

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I think it's obvious why this is number one.

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Honestly, I don't know what I like best about it: Mario's cold and soulless stare, the intensity of Yoshi's dinosaur heritage or the fact that he wears Nikes with laces he fails to tie (little arms). Whatever it is, after 1,000 or so listings with at least another 1,000 to go, this was a welcome sight and contrast to all the other junk (sans all the awesome stuff above) I dug through. There are plenty more where this duo came from so make sure to check the rest of the shop and Mike Mitchell's personal site.

 

Know of any good Etsy shops and listings that went unnoticed? Have any experience with the products above (or any contending ones for that matter)? We want to know! Share share share!