When I saw the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, the nation, and (oh what the hay) the world were already well into their mass consumption of the Pirates phenomena. We're all well-acquainted with the pattern: the public finds something new and interesting, and justifiably shows a prolonged interest in it. The media, detecting something they can put on the screen so people watch their channel more than the other channels (crafty devils!), puts it on the front page of every paper, makes it the opening story of every news magazine and television show, and generally buffs it up to be the most amazing, extraordinary, must-see pile of cinema since Robocop! Come on, Sal! Tigers are playing (taps table)...to-night! I never miss a game! I couldn't get away from it. I figured I'd better just go see it and move on. And I liked it enough. It was fun, it did the trick on a hot summer's day. When the second one came out, I liked that one too, maybe even more than the last one. For me, it was still just fun, dumb action and comedy that importantly, never took itself too seriously (which is a pitfall that another summer blockbuster may fall into this year). Shouldn't it be "Live Free AND Die Hard'? The only problem with this mass consumption is that eventually, the public gorges itself until we're all sick to our stomach just seeing it (and then the Wayans spoof it. Brrrrilliant!). As a result, I think burnout is fairly inevitable. The Da Vinci Code, Deal or No Deal, and now, it seems, the Pirates franchise, all have or will suffer the same fate. Why do I say this? Because when I watch a movie, I end up, usually that night, looking on the internet for reviews about that movie. I was a little surprised to see that Pirates got only a 47% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes (making it less fresh and more rotten, actually). Oh, Grandpa! So what did I like about it? To be honest, I liked everything that I liked in the first two Pirates. I thought Johnny Depp still held down the movie while a lot of the other characters sort of ambled about the deck. I liked Geoffrey Rush probably more than any other character, Depp included. The CG was perfectly fine, the comedy was still its corny, delicious self, and despite its running time (a few minutes shy of three hours), I never checked my watch once, which is something I can't say for many movies that run half the time. Sure, the story has more loops and double-crosses than most movies. (I was going to say something like "than a crossing guard at the X-Games", or "than a Thai hooker", but they didn't make any sense, and would only serve to alienate the reader. Wait. Shit.) In truth, I didn't mind the endless side-switching. Maybe the critics wanted At World's End to be something it wasn't. Perhaps they expected something less than 170 minutes of big, silly, pirate-on-pirate action. Or maybe I just didn't care at all, because in the end, I knew that everything was going to be all right. I knew I'd be entertained, and I knew that when the lights went up, I'd get up, wipe the popcorn from my shirt, and walk out without the slightest bit of guilt or remorse for what I had just engaged in. (Kind of like a Thai hooker) So save the serious stuff for the suits, and put your alliteration in your pocket, because there's nothing wrong with some swash-bucklin' celluloid every now and then. RANKING: 7 OUT OF 10