I really wish I could do justice to this trailer with my paltry words, but there are some games that just defy description.  Zoo Race is a Bible-themed animal racing game featuring “an unprecedented eight characters” (their words, not mine) running through various tracks that look like the old 3D maze screensaver from Windows 95.  The voice acting, script, graphics, animations and overall feel of the game all seem to be…let’s be generous and say “soul-crushingly bad”, but the concept of God running an animal racing circuit is just too damn bizarre to not earn at least some respect.  Watch the video, then scrub your eyes out and let me know what you think.  Then, you can compare your thoughts to those of the greatest reviewer ever.

Yes, my friends, that was a horse riding a rocket.  To me, there is simply no better way to spread the gospel than incredibly low-quality animal racing games, but that's kind of obvious, I suppose.  Expect our full review tomorrow.  Hell, we may devote a couple weeks worth of coverage to this puppy.  We might even model next year's PWNY Awards after Hannah the Horse.