Most weeks, I’m stuck in reality.  To date, all of my Top Ten lists have been based on real games, real systems, real people and characters.  It truly does get tiresome.  My imaginary friend asked me the other day “Hey, why don’t you do a list that appeals to me?”, so I was like “Okay, how about I do a list of the top ten imaginary video games ever?”  and he was all like “What the hell does that mean?  You're crazy.”  So I’m all like, “You know, fictional games from movies, TV, etc.  Ones that were never made into games in our ‘real’ world.”  Then I realized I was talking to myself at a bus stop.  I quickly stopped and started compiling this list.

10 – Dash Dingo

With all the video game references peppered throughout the many seasons of the Simpsons, it was hard to not to fill this list with them.  I decided to only include two from the long-running series, and this obnoxious Crash Bandicoot clone made the cut.  If it was good enough to get Lisa hooked, it's good enough for me.

9 – Bishop of Battle

Already, obscurity rears its ugly but unrecognizable head.  Does anyone remember a bad horror antology movie called Nightmares?  Well, one of the stories involved Emilio Estevez facing off against an evil game called Bishop of Battle that comes alive and kills you when you reach the elusive 13th level.  Sure it's potentially deadly and the control configuration consists of a ridiculous mounted gun and a knob, but in 1983, this was the pinnacle of vector graphics.

8 – Monkey Fracas Jr.

In the pilot episode of Futurama, Fry is seen playing this wacky Donkey Kong-inspired game.  Sure, Donkey Kong is cool, but can he transform into Saturn?  I think not.  Point goes to Monkey Fracas Jr. 

7 – Let’s Count Sand

I know the Gamefly commercials these days are, ummm, let's say less than stellar, but a couple of years ago, they had a pretty funny one where two gamers search in vain for their favorite games at the rental store.  All they find are game like Nada III, Bean Farmer Extreme and this beauty.  Definitel a title for those looking for an extended play experience.

6 – Head Kicker

The Brak Show has been a favorite of mine since its inception, and one of the best episodes is "Time Machine".  In this episode, Brak and  his malevolent friend Zorak indulge in this 2D fighter where the only gameplay element seems to be player 1 booting player 2 in the cranium repeatedly.  Sounds good.  Better than Mortal Kombat 4, anyway.

5 – Wheelchairbound

It's just like Paperboy, except you're in a wheelchair and you can shoot missiles at old ladies.  The game appears in an episode of the Adult Swim series "Metalocalypse", and if bassist William Murderface's reaction is any indication, this thing is intense. (Link is R rated and definitely NSFW!)

4 – Insult Master

"You stole my wristwatch!"  "You dumb, I already have a wrist watch.  You dumb."  "BUUUUURRRRNNNEED!"

Nuff said. 

3 – Heaven & Hell

This one's for the PSP, not the Okama Gamesphere.  Commanding the armies of Heaven and Hell actually sounds incredibly cool.  Especially if you're good enough to get recruited to ACTUALLY lead the armies of Heaven.  Well done, Kenny. 

2 – Bonestorm

When a game's pitchman is Santa Claus doing his best impression of Slim Jim spokesman Randy "Macho Man" Savage, how can a 10 year old boy resist?  Bart certainly couldn't.  In fact, his desire for this ultraviolent game led him down a path of lies, deception and thievery.  It's got Liu Kang fighting a tank.  What the hell else do you want?

1 – The Last Starfighter 

Now I know that some of these games have been made into real life flash games, but this one was actually intended to be released in arcades and for consoles repeatedly.  The movie with which it shares its name is about an arcade game that is actually a testing instrument for potential human recruits in an intergalactic war.  A real-life arcade verion is promised in the ending credits but never materialized due to excessive production costs.  Versions for all Atari systems were produced, but never distributed under the name "The Last Starfighter".  A strange fate for what would have been the first game about a movie about a game.

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