Looking back at the history of gaming, I think it's fair to say that Russians have got a bad deal. Ever since a certain hirsuite Soviet wrestler powerbombed his way into Street Fighter 2, the country known for vodka, eskimos, and brainwashing advisors has been painted in a bad light. Let's face it: Russians have always been the meta-Nazis of gaming.

That's why I find the latest entry into the cold-war era USSR  niche particularly disturbing. Like its predecessors, the propogame known as Tetris (previously TETRIS: IRON KURTAIN) does little to advance a modern view of Russian society, and instead reinforces the same tired stereotypes introduced in  Red Faction (and its edutainment sister game, Red Fractions).

Literally, "Tetris" means "pigs to the slaughter" in Russian. This dark backdrop is just the tip of the iceberg. The game pits you as "Glorious Leader", a recently hand-picked Comrade in charge of constructing the vast Soviet empire, circa 1955. Similar to Sim City, you are given different types of buildings with which to forward your red machinations. Quite different however, is the pace of the game. Whereas Maxis' urban planning sim allowed you to leisurely build a utopia as you saw fit, Tetris demands that you place buildings faster and faster, probably to prevent the plebs from rising up against you.

And unlike SimCity, the variety of buildings in Tetris is paltry at best. There are square buildings known as "community centres warehouse domicile", which act as residential complexes. These are useful for building a base population of super soldiers, but ultimately consume huge amounts of space and are difficult to build around. Other structures, such as ziggaurats, offer religious services and are more versatile, decreasing the need of your citizens for "Western commodities" such as "food".

Wort of these buildings, however, is the Tesla Coil. Tall, ominous, and forboding, these rare Death Towers are employed when the USSR population gets too high. Simply drop one into an "inconvenient" ghetto, and the bottom-feeders are soon cleansed from your city's gene pool. This type of depravity is rewarded with fanfare and score bonuses, and only adds to the maniacal tone set by the game's infinitely looping Soviet soundtrack. 

Modern Russia is nothing like the Cold War era dictatorship presented in Tetris. The country is a free, democratic state run by a man who could single-handedly destroy Chuck Norris.  This game effectively undoes the years of work Soviet rights activists fought and died for throughout the 1995's. The developers of Tetris would have you believe that Russia is a cold, boring, sad country with little economic power and stinted social programs. This kind of egregious lie should be some kind of war crime.

Is Tetris fun? Yes. As with SimCity, it's addictive to be given  power over the life and death of your country's citizens. But don't blame me when you wake up every night after dreaming your hands were covered in the blood of the innocent.

Graphics

    [5/10]:  Is it intentional that the buildings have no windows?

Sound    

    [9/10]:  Music is about 1 level short of brainwashing.

Controls

    [8/10]:  I'm pretty sure there's no way to build hospitals.

Replay   

    [10/10]: Desire to discard shirt... increasing...